Friday, August 15, 2003 :::
 
Out on the road today, I saw a BLACK FLAG sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice Inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back."
I thought I knew what love was
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever
I should just let them go but-

I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got that top pulled down and that radio on, baby
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone

::: posted by Leon at 8:45 PM


 
So much has happened and changed in a week. These one-liner entries won't do now.

Last week, my first friend died, so early in life. Her name is Kaeli Amie DeWeese. For those of you who don't "regularly" read this, she was run over by a car while setting up an annual Peddler's Fair for her church. At about 5:22am, as she was marking off vendor spaces, when a van driven by a 66-year old man ran through the intersection on his way to a kidney dialysis, hit and ran over her. She died about 40 minutes later at 6:00am. Yes, I'm being dry, but it's the way I'm going to put it.

I met Kaeli about a year and a half ago after a friend's birthday lunch at Chevy's. I saw her and introduced myself, and talked with her for a while. I was waiting for a to-go order of carnitas for my mom. We talked for a good while. She gave me a ride home, and I saw her around campus, and talked to her from time to time, mostly just a simple "hello". Sometimes I came to watch her soccer games, cheer for her. Now in my junior year, I talked to her more often, had enjoyable conversations, interesting ones, since we both were members of several clubs. I never did have a class with her, which was unfortunate. She was always nice, polite, and charming, and could brighten your day with a simple smile.

Going to the candlelight vigil last Saturday, and her viewing today, makes me realize how lucky I am to have gotten to know her. Her friends were loyal and true, comforting each other in this time of despair. She made good friends easily, which isn't easy to do.

It's so sad that this happened, and everyday I wish this was just a nightmare I'd wake up from. I cried, something that I haven't done in a long time. I think I've come to the conclusion that for the most part, I'm unemotional. Which is sad really. I don't know why, is it because of martial arts training? Not letting your opponent see any weakness, by showing emotion. Whatever the reason, I wish I could cry more in some aspects.

One thing I should, and everyone who reads this, and knew Kaeli personally, is to remember all the good times, and keep her memory close to you. Don't forget her, but don't dwell on her death. She wouldn't want to see us sad and crying. She was always and upbeat and outgoing, bright and optomistic person.

She had everything going for her: great family, friends, boyfriend, bright future at UC Davis, the prospect of becoming a veterinarian. People admired and loved her.

Unfortunately, these kind of tragedies happen to people everyday. Some people say it was her time to go, join her father, etc. Many believe it's just fate, and it was all planned out in the beginning, also known as predestination. I don't know what to believe. I would like to believe that she's in good hands, with God, and reunited with her father, looking down upon us. Perhaps guiding us.

I don't know what else to write, perhaps I'll edit this later, but right now, I'm just emptying what I've been thinking of writing, pouring my heart out. Crying out loud on the inside, knowing that she's gone, and my life is altered in some slight way.

If you've taken the time to read this, I thank you and appreciate it. Please tag my board, it's pretty lonely. Or you could e-mail me at sdagdagan@hotmail.com.

My condolences go out to the DeWeese and Quach families, may they get through this without everlasting pain.

Rest In Peace, Kaeli DeWeese. Know that we will carry you in our hearts and memories forever.

::: posted by Leon at 12:15 AM



Thursday, August 14, 2003 :::
 
I have so much to write, but now right now.

::: posted by Leon at 12:48 PM



Sunday, August 10, 2003 :::
 
I still have trouble finding the right words to say. If there are any.

::: posted by Leon at 2:03 PM