Friday, May 09, 2003 :::
 
So, I haven't posted in like a day, but hey, no problem. So here's what been going on in my life:

-I got my tuxedo in the mail on Wednesday. I put it on and I look like James Bond. Cool. Forgive my monotone expressions. I'm just mentally fatigued for the day.

-I took my AP US History exam with a bunch of other people in Bethel's IMC (library). The people that took it including me were: Katrina, Katie, Jessica, Jonathan, Bianca, Ryan, Brian, Feliz, Joe, Veronica, Bernard and Arra. Pretty pathetic for a class out of 30 or so people, and a class of 400 or so students.

-Yesterday, my mom and I went to the dry cleaners to get my tuxedo pants hemmed, and the rest with it pressed for prom next week. I should buy the prom picture thingy with everyone's prom picture in it. 15 bucks. Still a damn ripoff.

-Actually, after taking that test, and it wasn't impossibly hard as I thought it would be, I've concluded, yes, I am damn smart, more so than the majority of the people I see and know. But, who cares? A lot of people say so already.

I'm done with this post. Now I just want to get stuck in the materialism that binds the average teenager for a while. Bye.

::: posted by Leon at 1:39 PM



Wednesday, May 07, 2003 :::
 
Time for my daily post. Man, Francisco, I wish I was going up to Tahoe. Only this is probably going to be my busiest weekend in a long time. I've got the Mystery Dinner, AP tests to study for and homework, aikido, a play to attend, blah, blah, blah!

A lot of people say I'm a really smart person. In my opinion, those are the exact same people who are most likely more intelligent/smarter than me. In all honesty, I think I'm just an ordinary person with ordinary intelligence, who's effort and willpower to get stuff done (eventually) gives the facade of being intelligent and smart. I know many people who are easily smarter than me, but they don't put the effort forward to succeed in life.

One of my best friends from middle school, to me, is a genius. Only thing is, he's a smart-ass trouble-maker going to a military school on the East Coast because he screwed up. He is naturally gifted in almost everything he does and tries, but he's decided to waste it. If he could ready this, I'd like to tell him to straighten his shit out once and for all.

And now, as a junior in high school, my "ordinariness" is showing in AP Chemistry, where I'm no longer the best in the class (if I ever was in any class I had), and earning one of the worst grades because I can't grasp the material quickly enough, and my procrastination bests me everytime.

I'm also not just ordinary I.Q. wise, but athletic-wise. I'm probably less than average in the sports and physical stuff I do, like cross-country and swimming. I'm better than the worst person, but I have no chance at being the best. I get injured frequently it seems, and I already have chronic back problems, god damn it! I think my guts, intensity, and will-power is the only thing that gives me an edge. Blood, sweat, and tears help too.

What I am extraordinary at is martial arts. In Kung Jung Mu Sul (Royal Court Martial Arts), I earned my 2nd degree black belt by the age of 13, never heard of before in this art. I was the first person under-18 that it was awarded to. My sister has been doing this for the same time as I have, and she still hasn't reached the point I did, three years ago. Unfortunately, I don't train there anymore since, starting high school, I've lost interest, and I finally stopped at the end of 2002. I did start another martial art, aikido, through Contra Costa College at Eastshore Aikikai in Pinole. My sensei thinks I'm a natural, which I am, but I also have the help of 10 years of previous martial arts experience. Did I also mention I did a stint in Arnis? I made it to the 2nd or 3rd colored belt before I stopped there too. I mainly stop the activities I do because I am more than proficient enough to learn new things, but I'm not taught. So it just becomes a waste of my time and my parents money to pay for something when I'm not learning anymore.

Another natural ability I have is to teach and lead. Before I left my martial art, I did and had been teaching children and adults, starting at 10 or so. Many of the people I have trained have stopped, but some have stayed to make it to black belt. As it is in all martial arts. Now in Boy Scouts, I am an Assistant Senior Patrol Leader. Other leadership positions I've held are Patrol Leader, Scribe, and Historian. I will make the rank of Eagle before I turn 18, in a year and a half.

If you've cared to read this far, I'll just sum up what I've said, so you can base your own conclusions based on my own: I'm really just an ordinary person, despite what everyone else says. In my own opinion. As of this moment.

::: posted by Leon at 9:13 AM



Tuesday, May 06, 2003 :::
 
I guess my posts will keep coming since I'm on a computer everyday at school, especially during this stupid CAT 6 testing. I have an AP exam this Friday, a test in Chemistry I'm not ready for in 4th period, and a presentation on the KKK for history in 2nd period today. Hopefully I won't have to go, because, I don't have a presentation (powerpoint) ready to go as of this moment.

I'm willingly fucking up my academic life, which crosses directly into my personal life. Why do I do this every year? I tell myself I'll go home and be studious for 4-5 hours or so, and the funny part is that I don't, watch hella tv, and do more homework at school than at my house. Too many distractions. I need to buckle down and just finish this shit hole of a year right. I need to at least bring my AP Chem grade to a B-, which translates into an A for my weighted gpa. Blah!

I'll need hecka blank tapes for all the television I'll be recording. Basically, two hours of anime a day, for five days a week. A lot, huh?

::: posted by Leon at 9:13 AM



Monday, May 05, 2003 :::
 
To everyone who reads this blog, which I could guarantee aren't many of you, I'm in deep shit with school. The situation I tell myself every year I won't get myself into happens. It doesn't mean I have bad time management skills, but my classes demand more time than I have to use. My posts might be halted for a while (though I doubt it), and school is only for another six weeks or so, so I have to push that little red button that hurls me into 200 mph to hit the finish line burnt out and tires ruined. I hope you enjoy my posts, and I hope to see you soon.

This may be the last thing that i write for long
Can you hear me smiling when i sing this song, for you and only you

As I leave will you be someone to say good-bye
As I leave will you be someone to wipe your eye
My foot is out the door, and you can't stop me now

You wanted the best, it wasn't me, will you give it back
Now i'll take the lead, when there's no more room to make it grow
I'll see you again, you'll pretend you're naive, is this what you want
Is this what you need, how you end up let me know.

As I go, remember all the simple things you know,
My mind is just a crutch and I still hope, that you will miss me when
I'm gone
This is the last song

The hearts start breaking as the year is gone
The dream's beginning and the time rolls on
It seems so surreal, now I sing it.
Somehow I knew that I would be this way,
Somehow I knew that I would slowly fade.
Now i'm gone, just try and stop me now.

And will you need me now, you'll find a way somehow
You want it too, I want it too.

The All-American Rejects- "The Last Song"




::: posted by Leon at 9:21 AM



Sunday, May 04, 2003 :::
 
I went running for the first time in months! The first step to cross-country domination in September (yeah right, but I'll sweat blood trying)

I found some good articles on girls-suck.diaryland.com. Take your time to read these please. At least the first one.

I don't know what the cause is, but I've noticed that there seems to be a failing in the 'younger' crowd of females that are in public now, or at least lately.

Whether it's a defect of breeding, education, or just too much "vitamin E," the general grade of stock out there seems to be lacking. There are exceptions to this of course, as always, there always are, as there's no definites in life; but in general, I've noticed that what they make up for in energy and false cuteness piled on like the makeup on their faces (what's up with that, by the way?), they're lacking in brains and just general ability to converse in a decent manner.

It seems to be in the 15-17 group, from what I've noticed. There was a time when the 'average' girl would more than likely be well mannered, mostly polite, and at least be able to respond when you talked about literature. Now it seems like it's all about spitting (a quality that is never a virtue in anyone), swearing, and acting like whores. And not even high quality whores we call escorts, no no no, they act like it's a fire sale, and the clothes have to go.

They've got two paths- one, they can stay as they are, and grow into a life that's only a growth of what they're doing now; or two, they can realise that in five years no one will hire them (or respect them) the way they look, and they'll smarten up.

Either way, I'm glad I'm not a male at that age now, looking to find a decent girl, I'd probably lose hope in the gender before I found one that wasn't horrible.

-p1

As a high school graduate in California, I can only say this: dammit, how'd you write this before me? -p5.

Any comments on my tag board about this???

She lifted her hand
and shoved it down my throat
pulled out something red
shoved an arrow through it
put it back in me
making sure it
would not fit
like it used to
and as she wiped
her hands on my shirt
asked if we could
be friends.

-p5.

And now to end the post:

Out of every girl I meet, no other can compete
I'd ditch em all for a night with you.
I know you don't believe you mean this much to me
But I promise you that you do...

The Ataris- "I Won't Spend Another Night Alone"

I wish I could write something insightful, witty, humorous, thought-provoking, etc. in here...



::: posted by Leon at 7:53 PM


 
Most people never know anything beyond what they see.

Nightcrawler, "X-Men 2"

A pretty good movie. I especially like the mondo teleporting scene in the beginning where Nightcrawler is just popping in and out. I wonder what happened to Jean Grey. Is she going to go Phoenix like in the next movie, like the cartoon?

Sorry I couldn't come to you birthday party dinner, David. *looks in pockets, but nothing there*

I can't wait to see Matrix in a couple of weeks.

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

[Chorus]
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be

Linkin Park- "Numb"


::: posted by Leon at 3:19 PM