Saturday, April 26, 2003 :::
 
I'm at Francisco's house enjoying his food and playing games n' stuff. Great time so far, which is liike over 5 hours I believe. Started at noon and I didn't get there until almost 3pm. I got Francisco a book full of quotes called "the promise of Friendship". I saw other ones like "Hope" and "Love".

I am so fucked tomorrow. Toooooooooooooooooo much homework needs to be done, and a project, which includes a 2 page report (no biggie), and a power point presentation for extra credit, which I really need to keep my A- in AP US History. Blah!

Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start...

Coldplay- "The Scientist"

::: posted by Leon at 8:15 PM



Friday, April 25, 2003 :::
 
We won against Hogan yesterday. Nothing unexpected there. I placed 2nd in the 200 free and 3rd in the 100 back. Three of my events were within 15 minutes of each other, so I was really tired. When I got home, I just went to sleep. And didn't get any homework done. Blah! Bad Scooter!

Well, it seems my question to Francisco is spreading, and people are trying to find the answer to what they live for. I'm glad Katrina seems to have found a reason. I'll answer my own question someday, probably soon, and probably not today.

I need to get my shit together and start focusing hard on school. My interest and discipline (or whatever little I had), is slipping. I don't want to do anything for these last two months. I'm sooooooooo overwhelmed!

-I have the SAT next Saturday
-Then I have my AP Chem exam (an $80 test)
-Then a AP US History exam (another $80)
-MEL's for swimming next Friday
-Chem grade to dramatically bring up
-PROM!!!! Need a damn tux! Buy buy buy!

See you tomorrow Francisco!

I remember waiting
For you to come
Remember waiting
For you to call
Remember waiting there to find nothing at all
I remember waiting
For you to come
Remember waiting
For you to call
Waiting there to find nothing at all...

The Ataris- "The Saddest Song"
-

::: posted by Leon at 6:06 PM



Thursday, April 24, 2003 :::
 
Yeah... It's raining today for our other cross-town rivalry swim meet against Hogan today. Ya know what that means? We're gonna kick some ass! Everytime there is ugly weather, we win. Kinda wierd.

Hey Francisco, I don't remember saying that to you until you posted it. It went in and out my brain but stuck in yours. For all you other bloggites, here's what I said:

What do you live for?

I would have to ponder that myself, to get a clear cut answer.

But I think everyone should know what they live for. Better to have an aim, rather than wander, accomplishing nothing in life. I don't think it matters if you live to get laid or do drugs, but if you do, please find another thing to live for. Perhaps to scale Mt. Everest (something I'd love to do one day), graduate from college and earn lots of money, or win the lottery and never have to work another day in your life.

Wish me luck Diana, that I got a decent grade on that entropy test. For all you non-Chemistry students, entropy is the measure of disorder.

"Lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
You've put me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead..."

Coldplay- "Clocks"




::: posted by Leon at 10:07 AM



Tuesday, April 22, 2003 :::
 
I just got this off of Francisco's blog, which I think is interesting:

You've never had a girlfriend, and your life doesn't feel so great, so you think that's the missing piece that'll make everything fall in place. You figure, if only you could share your loneliness with someone else, the world would become a much sunnier place because you finally have someone who cares if you're happy.

My god, let me tell you how wrong you are.

A girlfriend is not the line piece in Tetris that clears everything out for you, and I know you get that metaphor because you're a goddamn nerd just like me. A relationship is a responsibility that most of us are not ready for, but you're going to get into one anyway, so let me tell you what it's like.

You tell yourself, happiness is making other people happy, and as soon as you have that ability your world is one fat rainbow slide into the pot of golden bliss. It seems true enough from what we've been taught, doesn't it? Hah.

You don't think you're ever going to break a girl's heart. You've always been on the receiving end of heartbreak this far. Anyone that you date, you're going to treat like a goddess, unlike all those other asshole guys in the world. You're different. You're better. You're going to be happy.

You're a stupid little kid.

I broke a girl's heart a week and three days ago, a girl who didn't deserve it, a girl who I made happy. I realized I wasn't happy sometime in the last two months, but I tried staying in the relationship as long as I could for her sake. And this is where I realized what a huge burden her happiness was, a burden made a thousand times worse because I knew it shouldn't be a burden. When I couldn't do it anymore, I realized that in life, you're going to have to be a bastard every once in a while. It's necessary, it's unavoidable, and it's going to happen to you.

To end this increasingly incoherent lecture, don't make yourself believe that you can find inner happiness from other people. It's the other way around, something you need to figure out before you end up breaking someone's heart. So stop whining about needing someone, sit your ass down, and think about what it is you want, who you want to be and if you could really find someone who's at the same time in their life as yours.

Relationship: responsibility. Too much of one without the other.

-p5

puts it into perspective, huh?

Waiting, day to day it goes through
My lips, are sealed for her
My tongue is,
Tied to, a dream of being with you
To settle for less, is not what I prefer...

My Paper Heart- The All-American Rejects


::: posted by Leon at 9:58 AM



Sunday, April 20, 2003 :::
 
Just got back from Vegas this morning, about 4am to be exact. I thought we would have gotten home at 12 or 1 at the latest, but numerous dumb delays prevented a good night's sleep. Our car is sooooooo uncomfortable, especially to sleep in. In fact for probably 2 hours I drifted in and out of sleep because of the "uncomfortableness". Is that a word? Whatever.

- As I thought, this trip didn't turn out as great as I hoped it would be.

- I'm disappointed that I didn't get a single piece of non-junk mail in my inbox. Or any new tags on the board. Maybe I should just get rid of it. And maybe just this whole blog together. I'm kinda glad they have a "delete blog" option, I may have to use it.

- I coiuld have gotten more done staying here in one day (homework wise) than I did during our whole trip to Vegas. Despite the popular belief in my family that you can do homework in car while traveling is just total bullshit. If I had a desk I probably could. But where could you put it?

-I think I spent more time being on guard from getting into arguements and such instead of relaxing. Spring Break sure was a greeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaat help to my mental and physical health! Life is sure a bitch right now. I still have AP Chemistry homework to finish.

As I posted earlier as a quote: "If you're going through hell, keep going". Yeah.... I'll try

Happy Easter Everyone!

"Wish cast into the sky
I'm moving on
Sweet beginnings do arise
She knows I was wrong
The notes are old,
They bend, they fold
and so do I to a new love..."

The All-American Rejects, "Swing Swing"

::: posted by Leon at 1:23 PM