Saturday, April 05, 2003 :::
 
God damn it! My fucking long ass post got deleted. Sorry for all my cursing and such, I'll just sum up what I did write, and hope I have the feeling and will to write it. Basically, it was an essay of apologies and explanations of my day.

-Sorry to Diana to whose get together I could not make it to.

-Sorry to Kaeli, who is turning 18 this coming week. She had a party that I was invited last minute to. I really want to go, especially when the party is within walking distance.

-My mom's birthday was on the 2nd of April, and that was a large factor in me not being able to go. We were to go to Black Angus and have a nice filling "stuff yourself 'till you explode" meal. Long story short, it ended in wasted time and a damn catastrophe. Shit.

-I wish I could just spend some time with friends on the weekend. It seems all I ever do is slave to my parents whims on the weekends while they bitch to me that I'm not doing enough. My grades aren't high enough. Guess what? Me helping you (mom and dad), takes up a substantial amount of mytime on the weekends, whether you realize it or not, think it's a lot of time or not. You say you have to conform to my plans, but in reality, when it comes down to it, you give shit about what I want to do with the time I've been given with my life. I should do with it what I please.

-That's why I want my license. Then you won't have to drive me around. I won't have to put aside my pride, and ask nicely for everything I want. You say the worst thing that can happen is that you'll say no. More often than not, you bitch and yell that you have something else you have to do or make an excuse why I can't go somewhere or do something. And I hate asking for rides from friends. Sorry guys. I hate having to waste your time to take me home or where ever, because I hate it (having my time wasted) having it done to me.

-Even now with this evening being a waste, my parents would blow up if I asked to be driven to your party Kaeli. More like parent now. My mom has gone to lay down because her eye hurst like a mofo. Reason for ruined dinner. I thought of even sneaking out or asking if I could walk. Too bad my parents would sic the FBI on me.

-I'm just writing this to point and clarify the problems in my life even though I don't see them often. My life doesn't suck. It's actually pretty decent. I may tend to blow things out of proportion from time to time, but what I write in here is a pretty accurate portrayal.

I guess this is not such a short entry, but I had to get this off my chest. Most of the time I have no one to talk to, to talk my problems out with. I'm willing to listen to people to be kind and offer a generous ear, for one, the sake of enhancing a friendship. For some reason I have a reluctance to spill my heart and mind out to any friend, even my closest ones. But it seems like when I do, I hold back because they don't genuinely listen and just pretend they hear what I'm saying. Or so it seems. Since they don't listen, talking just seems trivial and pointless. Maybe thats why I like adults, because they're more willing to listen and help than peers most of the time.

Anybody who is willing to be confided in by me, inquire, then prove to me through our friendship. I need someone like that.

::: posted by Leon at 10:50 PM


 
Faint by Linkin Park on their sophomore album Meteora
I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everybody can see
these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe
this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here cause you want what I've got

[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make
sense
I say what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear
me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you’re all that I've got

[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

(Now)
(Hear me out now)
(You're gonna listen to me, like it or not)
(Right now)
(Hear me out now)
(You're gonna listen to me, like it or not)
(Right now)

(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

I can't feel
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

::: posted by Leon at 9:48 PM



Thursday, April 03, 2003 :::
 

Pierce Brosnan Bond- you kick ass as 007


Which GOOD James Bond are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


::: posted by Leon at 9:38 PM


 
Mwahahahaha!


Kill someone by the sword


How would you kill someone
brought to you by Quizilla


::: posted by Leon at 9:36 PM


 
Yeah, I'm kinda overdoing it with these, so what! I don't think this really fits me...

Butterfly Spry, cheeky and flirtatious! You love Asian pop culture and thrive on Pocky and candy colours. You enjoy attention lavished upon your pretty self. You want a partner who knows how to have fun. No wallflowers for you!

::: posted by Leon at 9:07 PM


 

You are FIRE! When the shit hits the fan, you're the first to react and you're not shy about it either! You are sincere and protective, but tend to express your feelings poorly, and so you are often misunderstood. But don't worry, worthy trainers know the truth.

What Kind Of Pokémon Are You?

::: posted by Leon at 9:05 PM


 
Hehehe... Slice and dice!

You are fast and furious. Streamlined and efficient in many ways, you go through life easily accomplishing what most people find difficult.
Which DBZ Attack Are You?

::: posted by Leon at 9:02 PM


 
Right....

What Drink Are You?

::: posted by Leon at 8:57 PM


 
Hey! Nothing much happening here in 5th period precalculus! My name is mentioned in vallejonews.com for winning the 200 free. I'm gonna try to put up a tagboard on this blog. Last night I stayed up late getting my book response for english done. I had to make awards for the option I was using, so I used blank CD's as awards. Anyways, I've raised my grade like 1% in chemistry, so I still have a C-, and Mrs. Evans is going to send home a report saying I'm in danger of failing. Goody! I'll have to look out for the mail. Quarter 3 of my junior year of high school is over, thank god, only 5 more quarters to go before I'm out of high school. Swim practice is gonna suck later because it's freezing and windy outside.

Bye!

::: posted by Leon at 1:16 PM



Wednesday, April 02, 2003 :::
 
Hi, this is what happened today in my life:


- I won the 200 free with a sucky time, only because I was swimming against my own teammates. Vallejo didn't have anybody swimming that event. Woohoo! My first 1st place baby!
- I made the same time in the 100 back, wierd, huh?
- I have a lot of homework to finish tonight
- Aikido was fun although I wish I could have been spending the time doing homework, because I have a book report due tomorrow. Yay!
- We won our swim meet against Vallejo, go Bethel!
- Some guy is selling a car to my dad. My dad could pay him like right this second, so it seems he got angry and deflated one of my dad's tires. All of us are kinda paranoid about this.
- Maybe this guy has a bounty on his head if he doesn't pay money, maybe to some drug dealer, mob, gang, Mafia, Triads, etc....
- I think he is a psychotic lunatic. If he comes near me or to this house, I'll probably beat his head in, or at least his shins, hehehehe....

Don't think I'm diabolical or wierd because of that last statement...

Have a good night!

::: posted by Leon at 8:27 PM


 
yeah... I doubt this will be posted because something is wrong with my blog. So if this shows up... great! I have a swim meet against Vallejo today and I have to swim the 200 free and 100 back. God damn it! I'm still sick, so I'm gonna post a horrible time! (gotta think positive here!). Oh yeah.... it's my mom's and my friend Dean's birthdays! Yay!

::: posted by Leon at 11:53 AM



Monday, March 31, 2003 :::
 
I love the new Linkin Park album "Meteora". It's worth buying the package containing the DVD, at least for me. Great insight on the band. I might join Linkin Park Underground 2.0. Here are the lyrics to probably my favorite song on the album:

Breaking the Habit
Memories concern
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safer in my room
Unless I try to start again

[Chorus]
I don't want to be the one
Who battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

Cultured my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I have no options left again

[Chorus]
I dont want to be the one
Who battles always choose
Cuz inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight

I'll paint it on the walls
Cuz I'm the one that falls
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends

[Chorus]
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
But now I have some clarity
to show you what I mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I’m breaking the habit tonight

::: posted by Leon at 8:38 PM


 
Hey all! I'm sick right now so I'm at home blogging before I go to sleep.
I just had some sudafed, tea, and motrin
Nothing much happened, except that ridiculous healthy kids survey test. I swear probably everyone answered the majority of questions "a".
We got a dollar for taking it. Big woopdeedo!
I left class 3rd period to come home and rest
Hopefully I'll be able to do some work from my classes I've procrastinated on
Surprisingly, I've kept this instead of a private journal. Maybe this is just more convienient.
Unfortunetely, I cannot spill all my secrets, etc. in here
I need a tag board/ comment thingy

::: posted by Leon at 11:05 AM



Sunday, March 30, 2003 :::
 
Yesterday was a doozey (sp?)
I swear I got less that 5 hours of sleep
My alarm clock went off, and heard it, but didn't do anything about it. I set it for 6am. My dad said he would wake up at 6:40am, because at 7 we were to leave for Fairfield. So he wakes me up at 6:50am dammit! How ironic. So I get my shit together and we leave about 7:05. My dad wanted directions so he could maybe come by later. So we go to the Fairfield Splash Relays, and after 20 minutes of looking, we get our spot to set up for the canopy we have. I might give more details later, but I don't feel like doing anything, especially typing. So after forever, I got to swim twice, and then I had to go to Mark Heise's Eagle Court of Honor. He goes to UCSD, and came back for spring break so he could have his court of honor. I was a color guard. At least I was mentioned in the program. So I went home after pretty much everyone else had left. I changed for like the 10th time today so I could go to Francis' party which started about 7 hours before I got there ( around 7, you do the math). Anyways, after I had started my family's dinner, my mom decided she'd let me go to the party. His house is hella big, and his room is hella big, and it's hella far from Jesse Bethel High School in American Canyon. Can you even classify the place as a city. It might as well be a part of Vallejo, geez. Everybody made a big deal about me finally getting there. I was brought up to speed of what had happened already, like Jorelyn's "hot cousin" who could play b-ball and was being hit on. AND, Chris Cruz' nose spontaneously burst with blood, when he was doing something, not sure of. He fainted, and they got it on camera. So I had fun and ate for about the 10th time that day. I had almost no healthy food that day, besides an apple and maybe something else. And after I got home, I watched The Tuxedo. Wow, a fulfilling and exciting day. Sometimes I wish everyday could be like this. But once I went to sleep, I didn't wake up until 11:30 today!

::: posted by Leon at 7:32 PM